Saturday, June 12, 2010

Hey everyone, I went for my cuzzie's bdae today.. I felt SOOO EXTRA... at least got some presents == i felt alone since Issac was there, looked like he wanted me out. And Eugenia, being her usual friendly self, got all the attention of the little kids, like Samantha. but actually.. I don't really care anymore nyaa.

talking to a fellow classmate who has similar "case" like me i guess.. I felt like im in no position to help her much, since i can't really help myself. == IM HOPELESS. im so tired.. so tired of giving it all, so tired of making a mark, so tired of trying so freaking hard to please everyone. but, THATS the reason for me to keep on doing that. I want to give up.. I want to end all this.. I want someone to notice, how hard im working to please everyone nyaa.

I know im lazy, playing games and all.. but I hate teachers saying this after Ziying says:
"Um... Do I need to get information on this topic in order to get the notes i need to understand the next topic better?"

teacher: "yeah! "

*happens.. PURPOSELY walks to the teacher and overhears the topics*

*teacher gets some "bad" thinking of me once seeing me*
teacher: "See, Grace, must be like Ziying, you must learn from her"

shes the role model and wha? i must learn from her? HELLO? im an individual here. but... do you ever talk about me? nehh. guess you're too busy. can't blame you. Role Model.. shes 101% PERFECT. 100% smart. talented. good body figure (i guess). no one can compare to her. I don't worth even 0.01% of her. THATS the comparison. Im the pest, shes the human. humane enough for teachers to notice, not saying everyone is not human. guess shes too PERFECT... she talks to me sometimes like its an order, sumtimes like she throwing facts.. or stabbing me with arrows. Im defenseless.. against everybody. im the target, the prey.. cos im not smart enough to raise it a notch and become the hunter. they are the hunters. im free prey. the teachers are the masters. im willing party, they are willing party, BUT i die, they get rewarded.

Im ignorant, they are smart and elegant.

xoxo Ignorant Little Gal.
SUPER emo. don't touch me.